Current music:	Final Fantasy XII | Rabanastre Lowtown
Entry tags:	rant

My Take on the Latest Summary Executions
So, this is sort of a rant, but not. The original post is by mctabby, here. It goes almost without saying that none of these people have ever run a spell check in their lives.

A fourth Hallow has been discovered. A hallow of flesh, blood and hair. Lucius has been ordered by the Dark Lard to retrieve this Hallow before it is used against him.

For some reason (aside from the images in my head of fry cooks) this particular summary makes me think of a really speshul politician, or maybe a management type. I think it's the reference to hair that did it. But really, the Dark Lard?

I also wonder, given the story we were told about the Deathly Hallows, just exactly who received this mysterious fourth, and were they required to give birth to it, or was it just something Death whipped up from the remains of the last idiot to fail.

Harry is a new creature never heard of before, he's a half Vampire the only one in existance!

Maybe in Upper Volta, and even then I wouldn't be too sure of it. Apparently, despite all those references in canon to vampires, it's been impossible for them to spawn sprogs off humans. We won't even talk about the eleventy-billion other fics out there with half-vampires, half-veela, and half-whateverispopularthisweek flouncing around being speshul.

Harry Potter:boy who lived. Harry Potter: Chosen one. Harry Potter: container of th Five Tailed Wolf.

So, uh, Harry may birth a wolf any day now?

Hermione gets a letter from her PUREBLOOD family. The Mansons. Not Cliche cept the purelbood part

I am filled with dread. How can anyone not see what might be coming with a name like Manson? And not cliché? Please, darling, it sounds (at first glance) like every other story where Hermione finds out she's pureblood, then her personality warps into the usual psycho hosebeast with a "slight" anger management problem. In this one, what are the odds she'll suddenly become very attracted to Draco?

Hermione Granger was always the bookworm. But Lupin, as head of the Order, needs more information. He knows she can act when she needs to, so he hatches a plan. With the help of a magical phsycologist, he transforms the bookworm to the sex goddess. Complete with a new name and history, Fergie, must take on the ultimate personal battle. Draco Malfoy.

There are only two Fergie persons I recognize. And, while one of them might have a smokin' hot body, her face is nothing to write home about.

Lily Fauntlroy has so much drama going on in her lif. First she relizes that she loves her best friend, and in the same day she finds out she's a wizard.

Name aside, I too would be shocked to realize one day that I was actually a male of the species.

PostDH Harry Potter and his friends must battle the creeping evil of Communism. NO STRANGE OR IMPOSSIBLE RELATIONSHIPS

I hadn't realized that the Cold War was back on... so maybe this is a dig at China? Maybe we should expect creeping into socialist countries? Either way, there is, apparently, no such thing as an impossible relationship in Potterverse, though I suppose I might be inclined to consider Anyone/Squid to be strange, as I'm not into tentacle porn.

P.S. in my H.P. world hermione is from the states. born in texas, moved to massachusetts at age five and moved to briten at nine. Mix of accents. Also is Hispanic

Words fail me. And, while I refuse to go track down the travesty of a story this belongs to, I must wonder if Hermione's speshul background has any actual relevance to the story, or if she's just another American Mary Sue, this time with a bizarre nasal drawl and possible slurring.

Why was Harry always yelling in book 5? Why was he always angsty and emo? The questions that reside in all of our minds and haunt our dreams will finally be answered.

Dur. If you haven't already figured that out, you're obviously too young or too ignorant of human behavior. I sincerely doubt this story will enlighten anyone. It will, however, make it possible for a fascinating backstory that I'm sure everyone will flock to experience. I can only pray that there's no lyrics, goth-wear, piercings, or tattoos involved.

xxBBxRLxx A bit of a character sketch on Rudolphus' love for Bellatrix. xxHe mourns the loss of his rainbow.xx

WTF is with the x's? And Bella is a rainbow? She marches in Gay Pride Day parades in between raids for the Dark "Lard" and general all-around mayhem?