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Grazhir ([info]grazhir) wrote,
@ 2008-07-02 05:07:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current music:Final Fantasy XII | The Salikawood

More Things I Don't Much Care For
I admit, there might be the odd repeat from previous 'episodes', but I'm collecting these as I browse looking for something to read.  As usual, these things listed usually mean I refuse to even open the story, or I find them in chapter one, quickly followed by closing the tab.

  • The summary tells us that canon characters will be indulging in the practice of 'learning' how to handle a 'baby' as part of their studies, except they aren't using flour or eggs like muggles.  Joy.

  • The summary tells us that a soulmate can be created.

  • The summary says the fic is a challenge response and the summary is inside, the fic is complete, but the word count is a mere 127.  It can only be a drabble, I assume, but I can't be bothered to open it and check.

  • The fic contains time travel where the trio goes to the Marauder's era, and Ron's last name doesn't change.  Dur.  I wonder how Bill feels about that.

  • The fic contains a Harry who knows he's gay and is wanking by the time he's nine years old.  (Must be the Potter Factor™ at work.)

  • The summary contains not one capital letter.

  • The summary mentions Veela, Draco, Harry, and 'odd twist' or something to that effect.  And they aren't being sarcastic or self-mocking.

  • The summary tells us the story is a high school fic (no-magic is a given).

  • The summary has 'slave fic' in it.

  • The fic has the OWLs or NEWTs administered by the professors of Hogwarts, or certain professors are allowed (for some bizarre reason) to give OWL and NEWT students a mandatory, normal year-end exam.

  • The story makes reference to 16 being the age of ascension, not 17, and it was started well after the fact that anyone should know their facts (in the case of the story which prompted this, it was published in 2008).  This applies mostly to magic rights, not inheritance rights (lordship is a different matter, because that's totally AU anyway).

  • The story implies or outright states that Hedwig depends on Harry for food, when it should be obvious (unless she's locked in her cage) that she can and will hunt for her own food.

  • The summary indicates a Covenant crossover.  I've seen the movie and it set my imaginary logic detector to burning.  It makes no sense.

  • The story has alternating sections/chapters showing the same material from a different viewpoint.  If an author is going to go that far, they may as well simply use an omnipotent viewpoint and stop artificially upping their word count.

  • The summary mentions 'forbidden love'.

  • The summary sounds like the blurb on the back of a romance 'novel'.

  • The story introduces an OC (usually female, usually a Mary Sue) in the first chapter who knows everything Harry doesn't, and is more than happy to 'guide' him with mysterious comments and all that rot.

  • The summary or story references Harry losing his magic. (There are two exceptions to this, two stories I've read and didn't hate, but the concept still makes me shudder in the worst way.  But then, that's why exceptions are exceptions, and not the norm.)

  • The story assumes that a muggle-raised Harry would never do something like use non-magical means to leave the country, such as an airplane.

  • The story reveals that the entire student body knows that Hermione and Ron are spying on/helping to control Harry, but somehow Harry never learns anything until the exact right moment (usually a year or two later).

  • The story insists that something like side-along apparation is incredibly dangerous and can end up killing people, or is even impossible (and this is after we know it's possible via canon).

  • The story assumes that Harry absolutely loves red and gold simply because he's in Gryffindor.  You know, like it's impossible to have an actual personal preference established prior to being sorted, or even after.

  • The story involves a Harry whose sclera is not white, usually due to some creature blood/transformation.  The exception here is if the entire eye is the same colour (preferably black).  Seeing a Harry with green irises and red sclera is an open invitation to Christmas jokes.

  • The story contains the angel Gabriel, who happens to be... female.

  • The summary mentions real people getting 'transported' to the Harry Potter world.

  • The summary says love and hate are opposites.

  • The summary indicates that Harry is the son of Lucius and Draco is the son of James.

  • The summary indicates that Harry has a twin (sister) and then (without sarcasm or self-mockery) says that's 'a nice twist'.

  • Any story where Harry feels any responsibility for Lucius Malfoy ending up in Azkaban after the DoM incident.

  • The story, for some inane reason, insists that the mascot for Ravenclaw is a raven.

  • The summary (or story) includes corporal punishment.  (Because frankly, that didn't happen in my household, and I turned out to be a completely sane, kind, and well-adjusted individual.)

  • The story mentions Ginny threatening people with her Bat Bogey Hex more than once (and even once is pushing it).

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