Current mood:	irritated
Current music:	Final Fantasy X | Enemy Attack
Entry tags:	movies, potterverse, rant

Movie Thoughts
So, in a fit of masochistic glory, I decided to watch Order of the Phoenix. I'd have watched GoF first, but then I remembered someone had borrowed that DVD and mysteriously never returned it. I'd bitchslap her if I could, but then I might become contaminated with stupidity.

Anyway... so here's the list of thoughts I had during this fascinating movie experience. Feel free to skip right by if you don't want to hear mostly bitching.

On a side note, I finally managed to track down a very specific screencap I wanted, so that made me feel a lot happier.

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Note: These are not necessarily in order.

01. Hermione and the overacting eyebrows.

02. Ron being 'sensitive' when Harry is being snappish. Um, yeah. I need to go read the book again, it seems.

03. The ministry is really, really ugly.

04. Umbridge vaguely reminds me—how she talks and stuff—of Hyacinth from Keeping Up Appearances.

05. Harry must have the same problems I do, else he wouldn't keep cracking his neck like that.

06. Hermione acting like it's a huge friggin' trial to explain things to her braindead friends. I'm surprised she didn't roll her eyes a dozen times for good measure.

07. Why does stupefy not actually stupefy people? It's supposed to stun people, not knock them ass over teakettle.

08. That park had to be the most pathetic thing I've ever seen.

09. Why does Harry keep insisting that Voldemort killed Cedric? Is he having a memory challenged moment... repeatedly?

10. Does Tonks ever brush her hair? I mean really.

11. And what the fuck is with Flitwick's hair? Or lack thereof, as he seems to be missing all that at the back.

12. Neville bumping into Slytherin students right before finding the Room of Requirement is so bogus. What would they have been doing on the seventh floor anyway? And hey, I guess they spent so much of the budget on other special effects (you know, for shit that never actually happened), and animating Kreacher, that they couldn't afford to bring Dobby back in to handle that whole bit in a canonical fashion.

13. I love how half the spells actually jump the gun on spiffy light effects before the spell words ever make it out of the caster's mouth.

14. Lucius's outfit, though, is wonderful.

15. Kreacher has the adam's apple from hell.

16. I'm sorry, but there's no way in hell I can believe that dog resembled a grim. No. What the hell was that, an Irish Wolfhound?

17. Bella's nails looked way too in shape during the leaving Azkaban scene.

18. Grawp is still much too massive in size to make me believe Hagrid is half-giant.

20. Dudley runs like a girl.

21. I do think the snitch cat leaving the photo through a flap to go warn Umbridge was terribly cute.

22. So, in Harry's vision (and this bashes canon, too) Voldemort is threatening Sirius at the ministry... and Harry rushes off to save him... flying on thestrals, from Scotland to London... and he expects to get there before Sirius is broken, insane, or already dead? Uh huh.

23. Why are prophecy spheres in so many different sizes?

24. Why does a wand being pulled from it's walking stick sheath sound like steel?

25. Exposition!Lucius was just ridiculous.

26. Whatever those people were doing (we'll pretend it's apparating) is just fucked up.

27. It's terribly convenient that with shelving units that damn tall that Harry's prophecy was within convenient reach (also bashes canon).

28. And it's interesting how good guys 'apparate' with white effects, while bad guys 'apparate' with black effects. I'm sure that helped the people fighting a lot, so they didn't have to do as much work paying attention and keeping track of where the other side's people were. And if it was really apparating going on, I'm absolutely stunned that one's outlook on life can have such a blatant effect on things. I'd have expected the Death Eater's lumos spells to give off green light, then.

29. Why does Remus look like he hasn't washed his hair in weeks?

30. Meanwhile, Dumbledore and Voldemort take a breather during the big fight to reenact their long-standing fantasy and use Force Lightning on each other rather than dueling like actual wizards.

31. And we find the real reason the ministry has all those glass blocks/tiles everywhere is so that Voldemort has something to shatter in a huge, awe-inspiring explosive thingie.

32. Why is Harry wearing muggle clothing that fits?

And that's it.