Persistence of Memory

The old man finally sent another one good enough to share, so....

( You just can't fix stupid.... )

Courtesy of the usual culprit. Religious humor:


Two bees met in a field. One said to the other, 'How are things going?'

'Really bad,' said the second bee. 'The weather has been cold, wet and damp, and there aren't any flowers, so I can't make honey.'

'No problem,' said the first bee, 'Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fresh fruit.'

'Thanks for the tip,' said the second bee, and flew away.

A few hours later the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, 'How'd it go?'

'Great!' said the second bee. 'It was everything you said it would be. There was plenty of fruit and, oh, such huge floral arrangements on every table.'

'Uh, what's that thing on your head?' asked the first bee.

'That's my yarmulke,' said the second bee. 'I didn't want them to think I was a wasp.'

As usual, thanks to daddykins.

"I never could read sheet music; Till now!"

( Semi-adult, but no worse than the icon. )

How To Be Cruel To Old Guys

( One pic, partial nudity )

Today's inbox offering comes from—who else?—my dad. I'm just pasting in the text that came with it. There's one very long picture under the cut, but it's a series of photographs spliced together to tell this little story. I've added a text version at the end for those who deny images or can't see them.

What I don't get is how "rocks" came into this.

( Read more... )

So, I've been surfing like a madwoman the past few days... got distracted while reading Retardo Land and ended up overdosing on clicky-link-itis. And that leads me, eventually, to Great White Snark, which leads me, eventually, to this entry.

Which leads to Peter Pan's Home Page, but most importantly, to PeterPan's Fashion Page.

Do NOT visit unless you have a strong stomach and a sense of humor. And besides, the website itself is a travesty of HTML.

I would show a teaser picture, but I have no desire to either hotlink or host one of them at Grazhir.

For anyone who has never seen this (like me, until today): Cake Wrecks

As usual, thanks to dad for the emails he sends me on a regular basis. :)

( Children, the Rising Menace )

After retiring, I went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home, so I told the woman that I was very sorry but I seemed to have left my wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later."

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the social security office.

Her reply was, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too."

Right. Thanks to dad, as usual, for today's picture.

It's still the holiday season.

And, in keeping with the holiday theme....

( Warning: Partial Nudity )

( Self-made gifts are better. )

Okay, I can't get something to embed properly over here at IJ, so today's offering can be found at my LiveJournal instead.

For cat lovers.

First, let it be said that I've been horrifically distracted lately. I've been reading actual books, if you can believe it, for one thing. Among those number are the first four books in the Betsy the Vampire Queen series by MaryJanice Davidson. Rather funny, actually. Also, Stork Naked by Piers Anthony, and by Mercedes Lackey was Fortune's Fool and The Wizard of London. I dunno, but, I'm thinking Mercedes is losing her touch of late. Everything seems so horribly convenient and so many people are vying for roles as a Mary Sue... or so it seems to me.

Shockingly, a number of minor cosmetic details have been attended to for the entire site (Grazhir). Sadly, I could not find the damn font I used for the favicon (pixies must have stolen it), so I used Parseltongue instead. You'll see what I mean if you go look.

Also, a new section of sorts has been added to the site. I've been motivated (heaven knows why) to start an Apocalypse Challenge, and didn't really want to dump the pics into a journal entry (it's such a pain having to use LJ's weird twist on "img src" what with that extra space and slash. Why on earth it's necessary....

Anyway, currently up are 1.1, 1.2, and 2.1. You can find them:



( And now, for today's seasonal inbox, with 12 pics. )

As usual, another selection from the mail my dad sends me.

An Exercise In Creative Writing

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: 'Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in
1889.'

Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary's staff of professional image adjusters sent back the following biographical sketch: 'Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.'

And THAT is how it's done folks!

( A cabbie picks up a Nun. )

A double email today, all photographs. And I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if people have seen these before.

ETA: Some of the pumpkin photos might be considered a bit risqué for young minds.

( Halloween Pumpkins )

( The Polar Bear and the Huskies )